Food on ADHD Meds

Some of you may know that I finally got my ass to an assessment clinic this month, after years of suspecting that I might have ADHD.

I'm currently on 10 mg of Ampehtamine, or generic Adderal. Life on medication has been a rollercoaster this week, what with experiencing my first real blow of depression, getting back shitty grades, and my car getting wrecked about 2 minutes minutes from my place. But thanks be to God, I have clothing, a roof, and food in my fridge.

"Your appetite will decrease...people use this as an appetite suppressant," My doctor told me Friday as he wrote up my prescription. I lol'ed at him and said "I run a foodie blog with friends. I don't really believe anything can do that to me."

I'd researched side effects, so I knew it was used for that. I was CERTAIN, just CERTAIN, that there was no way anything, any drug, any person on the wet 'n' wild face of this earth, could ever take away my love for food, the holy delerium of tasting a farm-fresh egg, the visual appeal of leafy green veggies (ESPECIALLY RAINBOW KALE LADIES, I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS JUST BEAUTY EMBODIED) the natural highs of a well-marinated steak or whole fish grilled to perfection.

This morning, I got up to get ready for my exam, and I could barely get myself to open the fridge door.

My body and brain recoiled as I fought the ludicrous urge to leave the house without eating.

Eat? Seriously? Gross. Wait--you're serious. You're trying to open that fridge. You must be insane. 

I laughed nervously and swore out loud. I used to WAKE UP in the morning just so that I could eat eggs. What the hell was going on?

"Food just doesn't taste real good...." related a friend of mine who is on different medication, Concerta. The thought of food tasting like ash sounded ridiculous at the time.

just not that into you.

But today, I've experienced something heartbreakingly sad. It's not just an appetite-suppressant. It's actually more like an appetite-repulsant.

I reluctantly took out a steamed sweet potato, heated it up, maple syruped it, cinammon, nutmeg, the whole shebang. I tasted it. It's not that food tastes like ash--but more like I recognize the taste, this is "supposed" to be yummy, but my brain is not receiving signals that this should be pleasurable. I process more of the texture than I do the happy feeling of "MMMMMM." I taste cinammon, I taste sweet potato, I taste nutmeg, all very sharply, but at the same time, it's like my taste buds are too busy reading magazines on the toilet and they're like "Oh, hmm, cinammon. What, you want a fucking parade? Get a life."

So I fry an egg. Anything more than one egg feels stupid. I taste it. It's from a farm, it tastes like a real, farm-fresh egg. It doesn't taste like ash. But it doesn't feel good or bad. The act of 'eating' was annoying to my body. I wonder, is this what individuals with anorexia feel like?

Brain: K I get it. Can we get over this eating thing now? 

I'm not hit with the euphoria I usually feel. I'm not comforted by flavour. I don't have memories of warmth, satisfaction, laughter. What's the point of food, then?

I gulp down the egg and force another two spoonfuls of sweet potato. I've made coffee, but I don't really care for it. Come to think of it, around this time in the morning, my house is usually fragrant with the deep, earthy scent of freshly-ground, freshly-brewed coffee.

 But today, even as my coffee brews, I can't smell anything.

WTF is Paleo, and my new nutrition plan...

When Amy posted a while back about her awesome egg breakfast casseroles, the recipe blog she referenced (Chow Bella) had some paleo recipes. I thought , "what be dis?" I looked into it briefly, found it to creepily resemble Atkins, and thought "didn't that fad die a slow death in 1999?"

Some of you know that I've strugged with weight gain (for probably as long as you've known me). Being in the high-stress, no-exercise, no-friend environment that is Missouri, I gained 15 pounds over the semester and literally cannot fit into anything. I feel heavy and tired, and I hated having my picture taken on my vacation in Tennessee this summer because I looked so different.  It's an awful feeling.  I'd rather spend my money on flowers and seafood BBQs than new clothing. 

So naturally, I was excited to talk to my Montreal fitness trainer yesterday for a session, and we discussed a new nutrition plan for me. The nutrition plan is meant to be long term, and the basic idea is to eat extremely naturally, avoiding refined foods as much as possible, as well as reducing portion sizes. Very chill. I'm into that. But when I heard that the plan focuses on a higher-fat to low-carb no-carb-ratio, I was like "SOMETHING SMELLS fishy here and we're not at the fishmonger, kids." 

Admittedly, I am scared of consuming fats, esp animal fats on a regular basis, and am skeptical as to how the plan can actually contribute to weight loss.

I want and need to share this with you ladies because I'm conflicted about a lot of the foods suggested, and I know how much the pursuit of good, whole foods means to us all, regardless of how we negotiate what that entails. 

shit! quick! must hide the Irish coffee!

My trainer has tried eating this way herself, and has actually gone from being a sworn pescetarian from when I last saw her in December, to now eating bacon and liver! Her other clients have tried it too, and they claim they have much more energy as a result. Even though the plan may not be entirely "paleo", it's pretty similar, and the first thing that comes to my Coptic mind is "I'm on the fast-track to a massive heart attack at 32."

 List of NO

-no wheat 

-no fructose or any refined sugars 

-no grains, even quinoa! (supposedly because they aren't terribly nutritious and bloat us--except for white rice? which is most mind-boggling) 

-nothing cooked or coated in vegetable oil or soybean oil

-no pasteurized cheese

-no milk or soymilk (apparently because there is research that that actual milk, unless it's raw and whole, actually has so many nutrients stripped from it?)

-no peanuts

-no stevia

-no beans

-no dried fruits

List of YES 

-cooking in coconut oil and olive oil (though not at high heats for olive oil)

-MCT oil (SOMEBODY please look this up with me and tell me what you think? Looks like a body-builder fad. I Wiki'ed it this morning and to me, it still counts as refined. I don't think I'd touch this anyway.)

-ONLY organic bacon (I could cry with joy)

-ONLY organic meats and organic animal organs (liver, etc)

-grass-fed butter 

-plain walnuts and pecans (no soybean or vegetable oil on them)

-seafood and fish (even smoked salmon, which has high levels of sodium, and to me would lead to water retention and bloating?) 

-maple syrup and coconut sugar is ok on occassion (but doesn't the body process these as refined sugars anyway?)

-avocadoes regularly if possible

-full creme fraiche to put in my coffee (I'm like wtf here)

-completely natural almond, hazelnut, macadamia nut butters, etc

-eggs

-kelp and dulse seasonings

-fermented foods

-apple sauce

-coconut shreds 

-Berries 

-Sweet potato

Sample breakfasts: 

-1.5-2 egg veggie omelet or fritata with bacon

OR 

-A mix of almond butter, coconut milk, blueberries, walnuts, pecans (maybe fermented sour cream if I can make it at home )

The thing I've always liked about my trainer is that she's open to change, and I'm generally bound by conventional wisdom on most things. She suggests I try the plan for a month and see how I feel, and we can adjust accordingly, and I know she will respect my feedback on how the plan goes for me. I will research more and try it, particularly to see if my indigestion (ahem) problems are better or worse. Frankly, I am wary of avoiding grains and legumes (they're good sources of insoluble fibres and proteins!), and I never wanted to be one of those people who "diets". I hate restrictions. I never, EVER want to pass on that kind of mentality to my family or children. I love good food, good company, and lots of laughter, but I also want to start feeling better again in my skin. 

My Vegan Lent Dilemma

 Eastern Orthodox Lent is swiftly coming. March 11, I believe, to be exact. 

If some of you aren't familiar with the fasting component of the Coptic church, we go vegan 55 days. That's our fast. No meat, no fish, no dairy or eggs. 

And...drumroll please....

I do not want to go vegan for Lent. 

It's not the lack of eggs or dairy that concern me--they are my favourite foods and they would be a good idea to cut out. But I would prefer to go vegan with at least some animal protein, like fish. 

My feelings are not at all motivated by guilt or selfishness, but what I’m sure is an unfair prejudice towards preparing vegan meals that are 100% fakeness-free. Here are some of my problems:

-Most of the hearty protein in vegan meals depend on soy, and I don’t want to subsist on soy or plain fake products (tofurky, seitan, etc) when I could be getting protein and other happy nutrients from fish, and they would probably cost as much. Fish is surprisingly cheap here, and I would feel stupid paying $2-3 on a package of tofu when I could have 2 whole fish for $5. 

-I don’t want to depend too heavily on beans, lentils, and starches (many of you know about my, ahem, severe IBS-like problems) because I’m constantly in class, and have a windowless office in which I see 20 students per week and believe me…that many people makes for a stinky office as it is. My worst nightmare is letting one loose in class. Or several, which is more likely to happen anyway. 

-Well-balanced vegan meals take too long to prepare

-I don’t want to eat fried foods like falafel (Amy, did you say you had a baked version?)

  

I'm obviously bringing this up because I would, of course, like to keep as close to my tradition as I can, and—let’s face, 55 days. Big deal. I can suck it up, right?

So ladies, I’m reaching out for suggestions/sympathy/shit telling me that all of my aforementioned worries are groundless. I know that many of you are sympathetic to the vegan/ vegetarian diet (Julia and Nat, I’m looking at you! And Amy I know you’re a whiz at this stuff!) and I want to hear your thoughts. 

Which would you pick?

As most (or all) of you know, I work in the daycare business, and when it comes to the food given to the children, 'j'en ai vu des mûres et des moins mûres'. There are no regulation as to what exactly we give children to eat in a daycare setting, apart that it has to have one starch component, one dairy component, and one vegetable component. And in the 9 years of witnessing terrible lunches and snacks, I have never seen the government come into the daycare to check out our food. They content themselves with a typed menu sent by the director of the daycare.

I have seen some nasty shit pass into the gullets of unsuspecting and unknowing children. Things like frozen 1.00$ Michelina meals, pizza pockets, rocky road ice cream (twice in one week), goldfish crackers, cherry chip flavored cupcakes, etc. Delicious, 18 months to four year old appropriate right?

Now I know some people might say, goldfish are great (the particular brand we use has 20% of their total sodium in one portion), or Ive served pizza pockets to my kid and its OK once in awhile, or something else along those lines. While I completely agree that you as an adult make your own food choices and 'it ain't nobody else's business', and that you as a parent also make the choices for your children in your home, I stand firm in the belief that daycares have a sacred trust, and a duty to provide their charges with the best care we can possibly administer. That, to me, involves no pizza pocket to two year olds. Fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, healthy dairy sources should ALWAYS be part of the menu, not left behind because of this ideology of 'feed-them-crap-make-more-money' which is pretty much a constant in most educational buildings I have been to.

My position right now is that of assistant to the director, which puts me in a place that I can use to hopefully influence the daycare. I requested a meeting with the director and the other assistant as well as the parent council to talk about the food we serve and what we could do. This is how I went about it: on one plate, I had a muffin (the type that comes from a bag and you add water), and on the other, a cantaloupe slice, half sliced kiwi, quarter cored apple, and a handful of multigrain cheerios. Could I have shocked the parents by showing them what their children mostly eat? Yes, but I didn't want to lose my job, so shock wasn't the point. So back to the plates, I showed them what I had and I asked them which they would pick. Surprisingly, a little under half of them picked the muffin over the fresh fruit.. WHAT? A mother explained that the fruit is obviously more expensive and the time it took to peel, cut, etc would result in mess and tantrum from hungry child. All I had to say to that was ....... Then, I pulled my secret cards, the nutritional facts from each plate, and the price per plate. The difference in price was maybe 75 cents more. The difference in nutritional values, however, was ridiculously staggering. 0 vitamins and nutrients in the fake muffin plate (apart from 1% calcium from somewhere), the starch component came from modified EVERYTHING, and there was 11 unpronouncables in the list (I'm not even joking). That and many other factors quickly won out everyone but one mother, the same who dissed my fruit. Her final argument was that no kid would go for fruit over muffin, and that hers wouldn't even touch it.

That's when the secret weapon came out. I had actually taken pictures of my class (including her son) eating the fruit. They all ate it, and her son actually asked for more cantaloupe (but didn't like kiwi, which was fine). AWESOME!

Why do parents insist their children wont eat fruit and vegetables? I just really don't get that. Their bad habits are mostly a reflection of their parents. If mama and daddy do not present baby with fresh real food, or they themselves do not eat it, then their kids will most likely do the very same thing and immediately qualify veggies and fruits as weird and undesirable. Its such simple logic, and yet one that eludes so many of parents! Instead of giving goldfish to your children and habituating them to processed, over salty, fake food, why not just let them experiment with natural earth growing food and the things we can make directly from it, with as few ingredients as possible? Let them taste, touch, feel, and discover what they like and don`t within our rainbow spectrum of fruits and veggies, involve them in the process of cultivating it (if you do so), and/or going to a farmer`s market, and/or preparing a meal! Guaranteed that involving children within the whole process will make them so much more inclined to accept freshness as delicious, rather than something to be forced down or pushed to the edges of the dinner plate.

PS, my motion for the daycare was vetoed by the big boss. You win some, you lose some. Maybe I made just one parent rethink something, and that would be worth it all.

How about you, do you have a philosophy when it comes to food and children?

MEAT

I bought a lot of meat today, some of which I don't know how to cook... yet.

Like tongue. It was offered to me once in a sandwich and I just couldn't do it.

Makin' out with the calf tongue (being married is cool because you can blog pictures like this, where you look deranged, and you don't have to worry about being pretty).

The beautiful and wise Katie, who was invited to join us here at LG given her writing flair and culinary likemindedness, but who cannot join us at this time, kindly lent me this book. You may have heard of the author over at Kitchen Stewardship regarding discussions about soaking and phytic acid. So far I'm enjoying it a lot - it's researchy but also very narrative in style in the first part, which makes it easier to go through.

See? She made me. Tongue and liver. Right there on the list.

So far, I agree! I have been really into reading about postpartum depression in particular since starting doula work - but so much of this info is great for everybody! In addition to buying all this meat, I'm doubling my omega-3 supplement and am starting Tony on it too. I also bought folic acid and zinc - maybe I went a little nuts? But oh, this pharmacy has such sales!!

So stay tuned for me, cooking liver and tongue! If I find I have the courage to share!