Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happier Foodie Times

While I wait for new dosage to kick in, I think a post is in order following my last depressing one...

real deal lemonade stand in Indiana in August 

See that excitement? Cause that caeser has HAM AND OLIVES! 

Double cheeseburger. For $5. Welcome to 'murica. i think it was bigger than my whole face.

Sun-dappled garlic at the market this fall. This guy maybe had 30 varieties.

bamia (stewed okra and minced meat) for lunch. hea

FOUND: fake butter and fake cream at breakfast place. that's all they had. RESULT: deprimée.

veggie spiral slicer disaster. don't buy this one.

i have no words. 
Love and fried plantains make a Saturday-night cameo

I miss being here. New Brunswick.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Food on ADHD Meds

Some of you may know that I finally got my ass to an assessment clinic this month, after years of suspecting that I might have ADHD.

I'm currently on 10 mg of Ampehtamine, or generic Adderal. Life on medication has been a rollercoaster this week, what with experiencing my first real blow of depression, getting back shitty grades, and my car getting wrecked about 2 minutes minutes from my place. But thanks be to God, I have clothing, a roof, and food in my fridge.

"Your appetite will decrease...people use this as an appetite suppressant," My doctor told me Friday as he wrote up my prescription. I lol'ed at him and said "I run a foodie blog with friends. I don't really believe anything can do that to me."

I'd researched side effects, so I knew it was used for that. I was CERTAIN, just CERTAIN, that there was no way anything, any drug, any person on the wet 'n' wild face of this earth, could ever take away my love for food, the holy delerium of tasting a farm-fresh egg, the visual appeal of leafy green veggies (ESPECIALLY RAINBOW KALE LADIES, I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS JUST BEAUTY EMBODIED) the natural highs of a well-marinated steak or whole fish grilled to perfection.

This morning, I got up to get ready for my exam, and I could barely get myself to open the fridge door.

My body and brain recoiled as I fought the ludicrous urge to leave the house without eating.

Eat? Seriously? Gross. Wait--you're serious. You're trying to open that fridge. You must be insane. 

I laughed nervously and swore out loud. I used to WAKE UP in the morning just so that I could eat eggs. What the hell was going on?

"Food just doesn't taste real good...." related a friend of mine who is on different medication, Concerta. The thought of food tasting like ash sounded ridiculous at the time.

just not that into you.
But today, I've experienced something heartbreakingly sad. It's not just an appetite-suppressant. It's actually more like an appetite-repulsant.

I reluctantly took out a steamed sweet potato, heated it up, maple syruped it, cinammon, nutmeg, the whole shebang. I tasted it. It's not that food tastes like ash--but more like I recognize the taste, this is "supposed" to be yummy, but my brain is not receiving signals that this should be pleasurable. I process more of the texture than I do the happy feeling of "MMMMMM." I taste cinammon, I taste sweet potato, I taste nutmeg, all very sharply, but at the same time, it's like my taste buds are too busy reading magazines on the toilet and they're like "Oh, hmm, cinammon. What, you want a fucking parade? Get a life."

So I fry an egg. Anything more than one egg feels stupid. I taste it. It's from a farm, it tastes like a real, farm-fresh egg. It doesn't taste like ash. But it doesn't feel good or bad. The act of 'eating' was annoying to my body. I wonder, is this what individuals with anorexia feel like?

Brain: K I get it. Can we get over this eating thing now? 

I'm not hit with the euphoria I usually feel. I'm not comforted by flavour. I don't have memories of warmth, satisfaction, laughter. What's the point of food, then?

I gulp down the egg and force another two spoonfuls of sweet potato. I've made coffee, but I don't really care for it. Come to think of it, around this time in the morning, my house is usually fragrant with the deep, earthy scent of freshly-ground, freshly-brewed coffee.

 But today, even as my coffee brews, I can't smell anything.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Family birthdays

Both my mom and step-father have their birthdays in September, a few days apart form each other. So for the sake of simplicity, we have one supper to celebrate all three events, hosted by me. The weather and leaves being so beautiful, I decided to carry the autumn theme inside as well, and my sister and I worked together to create an autumnal feast for our parents.

My sister worked hard on the decorations while I took care of the food. I printed out a menu and she basically did the rest, down to making little individual place cards. It was quite charming and I just loved working in tandem with her, usually were so busy in our respective lives our interactions seem to be like a gust in the wind, strong but unexpected and quickly over. It was really nice to be able to work with her towards a common goal as simple as making supper for our folks.
For the menu, this is what I made: Roasted butternut squash/apple/sweet potato soup, roast beef with garlic/peppercorn crust, mashed potatoes/carrots, and steamed vegetables. For desert I made a carrot/apple/raisin cake with a caramel rhum sauce topped with slivered almonds and thin apple slices. Im going to share the soup recipe, it is the easiest thing to do ever, gluten/dairy free, and paleo approved.

I roasted a medium butternut squash, three medium sweet potato and two onions at 350 for 1.5 hours. To do so simply cut the squash and taters in half and lay face down on a pan that has a couple of teaspoons of e.v.o.o. criss crossed on it. I added the onions 45 mns before done time. The squash and potatoes are done when you can stick a fork easily in them without any force. Let cool, then scrape into a blender with a cup of vegetable broth. Blend until smooth.

I added the puree into veggie stock, maybe 1.5-2ltrs of it, as well as 1 cup of applesauce I made. It was too liquidy so I cooked it down until it was the desired thickness. Added some cinnamon and powdered ginger (Im sorry I didn't measure).

Then right before serving, I grated some nutmeg on the top. It was very fragrant and delicious, and perfectly autumnal.