Monday, August 6, 2012

Fat

Ah, that lovely word. Ive had a fight with my weight since I was 12 and I discovered what eating your emotions meant. Fuck the waistline, I need to smile and get over it, whatever it was at the moment. I learned, after constant exposion, to take all those looks and glances, those <jokes>, and shoot them right back at people. I made the fat jokes before anyone else had the time, so noone could see that words (especially that one) did affect me, even after all this time. I hated those skinny bitches and made more humilating remarks about them and their dimunitive intelligence (because skinny had to mean stupid, for some reason) than they could possibly make about me, effectively turning the tables. I nurtured my ability to think fast with a disparaging comment, and cultivated my knowledge about everything in order to always be superior in some way. Im happy being fat and if you dont like it, thats not my problem. A bit like this girl, really. Scary isnt it?

Since then Ive matured a bit, and come into my own philosophy about the overweight/obese crisis in the world. Ive noticed a very strong distinction between Canadians and Americans through my trips. Up north it seemed like our mentality was completely different than our southern neighbors. I have always known I would lose weight or live my life trying to lose it, known that my health, rather than my weight was the ultimate issue, however both were inextricably tied. Down south, I felt like in order to prove that every body is beautiful, they glorify being overweight, turn away from striving towards health and strain towards acceptance of something which really shouldnt be eagerly embraced with open arms. Which had the effect of completely turning me off, rather than making me feel normal, which is what Ive always anticipated.

And through that realization, getting older, learning more about myself and my body, about food, and developing my food philosophy, Ive always known that one day I was going to win this battle against weight. No matter if at 15, 25, or 35, one day I was going to be healthy. The other I took a trip to Chapters, and bought this beautiful vegetarian cookbook (for 2$!!) as well as a couple of Biggest Loser books (which, btw, the show completely inspires AND motivates me). I want this, I want to get healthy, show people wrong when they tell me Im fat for life. I want to get healthy for my kids, so I wont shiver in fear should my daughters say 'I want to be exactly like mommy when I grow up!'. But most of all, I want this for me.

Do you have views towards the overweight/obesity epidemic? Have you ever fought a battle with weight? Do you have any tips?

2 comments:

  1. I feel very humbled by the struggles overweight people constantly have, and the courage it takes to face it over and over again. My mother-in-law is one such person, bless her.

    So while I have this irrational fear that truly overweight people probably see me as a twig who can't possibly contribute... I'll share my advice, since you asked, based on times when I am getting too fat compared to my "normal". In fact I consider myself to be a dieter... I am satisfied with my figure but I do need to take constant action to maintain. I am not a person who can eat whatever and feel and look fantastic. (Do those people really exist?)

    There are four keys: hydration, protein, blood sugar control, and short bursts of exercise.

    Hydration mostly means water. I drink water constantly. Dehydration can be mistaken for hunger, and it also causes fatigue, headaches, inability to think clearly and learn, moodiness, etc., which for prone people can also result in overeating and loss to motivation to eat well. Yummy herbal teas are also great. They are flavourful, they can be nursed over a long period of time, and while they don't replace food if you're truly hungry, they are very satisfying if you just need something sorta kitchen-related to taste and enjoy.

    Protein... it fills the belly. I absolutely see meat and animal products as superfoods. I am very Weston A Price Foundation that way and I absolutely reject the whole "animal fat is evil" thing. I buy whole fat milk, I use good oils liberally, I do not limit egg consumption, etc. I think the anti-animal/anti-fats mentality is extremely dangerous and recommend checking out the WAPF's articles on the subject if you need some rehabilitation in that area - we just cannot survive on artifically de-fatted foods and eat vegetables all day. We'll wither and crash and binge. So... protein. Protein-based meals, and protein-rich snacks (nuts, eggs etc.).

    Controlling blood sugar is important simply because if you don't your diet will suffer, inevitably. If you eat big bursts of sugar, whether added or natural, with nothing to slow down its release into your bloodstream, you will crash. It's just a fact. And then you'll feel like crap and crave more or need a nap. Most folks can't afford mid-day napping, so it's best to just avoid those big doses of sugar.

    Exercise should be calm and stress-free and not intimidating. Throw numbers and minimums out the window. Don't time yourself or take your heartrate. Find simple, realistic ways to fit it into your schedule. Bike or walk to work/to the grocery store/to church if you can. Stretch and be aware of the grace and beauty of your body as soon as you wake up. The more you can take pleasurable, rambling walks in pretty spaces, the more you will come to rely on the beauty and peace of it, and the more you will enjoy moving. I think the gym mentality is not helpful: activity should be a pleasant, natural aspect woven into your normal life, not something that happens in this extremely compartmentalized little box of a building. Having social support in this area is also really important.

    And finally bravo to you! Determination and perseverance are so, so important - it's a lifelong battle, you will never be totally beyond struggle, and that's okay - with those two qualities you can however succeed, and that will be a beautiful legacy to pass on to your children. So bravo!

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    Replies
    1. I used to get so angry when thin people would give me advice on how to lose weight, or call themselves fat, or comment on how they had to lose weight as well. Then a couple years ago, I stopped judging them, because I realized that whatever they said was in almost all cases exactly how they felt. Wether you have 100 or 10 lbs to lose, its still hard and everyone you talk to can give you a new perspective!

      I am in complete agreement over the animal fat. I was just having this discussion with Jeff yesterday, he wanted to buy margarine because it is much less high in fat and calories than butter, and for much more. I told him that butter was good fat and when used in moderation, perfectly ok. Same with olive oil vs non-stick chemical spray. I would rather be overweight from eating the right things, whole and REAL foods.

      So thank you, for your opinion, tips and encouragement, I really do appreciate it!

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